Searching for People – The First Contact Letter

You have decided to search for that special someone. The person may be a family member, former friend, colleague from the past or a neighbor who moved away years ago. No matter whom you are searching for, it is sure to be an emotional experience for everyone when you locate the person. When you find the person, a contact letter is the best way to make that initial connection.

Remember, although you may have been seeking that certain special someone for months, they are probably completely unaware of your search. The long lost person may be anxious to even view your name, never mind hear your voice or see you in person. In cases of adoption, the birth parent may be remarried with additional children and require time to personally adjust to the idea and discuss the situation with family members. When a feud has occurred, there may be unresolved feelings of anger, sadness or guilt. Even in situations where you parted in a friendly fashion with a former mate, the person needs to grow accustomed to your desire to reunite. Making a telephone call or turning up at someones door could alarm the person and even puts them off. A letter informs the person you are looking for and allows them to get used to your possible presence.

The content of your letter should be light, considerate and upbeat. You may have more than one address for the name of the person you are searching for, so keep in mind that the letter might be sent to several people. The letter and envelope should be handwritten and the exterior of the envelope should be marked “Personal” on the top left hand corner. Also include a self-addressed, stamped envelope for a reply. Make a master list of the addresses you are sending the letter to and number them. On the inside flap of the return envelope, lightly print each number so that you know who has replied. An example of a suitable letter is:

Dear ***,

Please excuse my writing to you out of the blue, but I am searching for my father ***. I am sending this letter to all the people with that name that I can locate.

If you happen to be the *** I am looking for, please reply by using the self-addressed envelope enclosed. I am happy and well, but think of you often. I hope we can correspond and perhaps meet up at your convenience. I would love to learn more about you and hear the latest news.

If you are not the *** I am looking for, I am sorry to disturb you, but I would greatly appreciate if you could return my letter in the envelope provided so that I can strike you off my list.

Thank you so much. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Such a letter is an honest, non-threatening way of making the initial contact. The letter provides basic information about you and your intentions, which will make the recipient feel more comfortable. Further, if the recipient is not the intended party, it serves as a polite request to garner a response so you can take them off your list.

Sending such a letter can start a new adventure for you and the long lost person. Let go of any preexisting fantasies and expectations, take your time and keep it pleasant. Appearing needing and trying to jump into a new relationship could sabotage your chances of building a real rapport with that special someone.

An investigator and genealogist is trained in the techniques of locating missing people and organizing reunions. Employing a skilled professional as a mediator saves time, energy and yields better results because they know where and how to look for someone. Additionally, they have developed essential people skills that make them sensitive enough to effectively make initial contact with that long lost person. Having trained mediator could ensure a successful meeting with that special someone.